Why Not to Vacation With Odrens

Just in case any of our friends are harboring a lurking desire to go on a vacation with us.

Let me completely dash those aspirations.

For starters, you will begin your vacation in the rain.  Wearing many layers because the Odren's don't believe in sunny relaxing vacations.

Secondly you will arrive at your destination after 7 miles of weary, wet footsteps only to find hardly any wood to burn in the only source of heat available.  You will scrounge around for some dry wood in the pouring rain, hacking at it with a blunt saw.

And then you will spend the entire night engulfed in smoke until your voice becomes raspy and choked.  Oh and don't let me forget, those waterlogged base layers and those sloshy shoes, yeah, those aren't going to be dry tomorrow either.  The night will be spent listening to the wind howl and rain dash against the windows.

The following day will find you traipsing back out the way you came.  Hoping to make it out before it gets worse than it already is.

Then to get the hike out started with a bang, guess what's going to be smack dab right in the middle of the trail?  Yes, that's right, an avalanche!  Perfect.  Stretching from the mountains top on the right to the cold, blustery lake on the left.  No that wasn't there yesterday.  Great, if you don't die of cold and damp you will die in an avalanche.   At least we provide you with options, right?

You will also find that you are unable to use the trail due to the large amounts of water running down it.  Until you decide that you can't get any wetter anyways and just splash through it like a rundown nag.

Then, just when you thought it was finally over!  Yeah, no.  You get to strip down to your underwear and drive home with a coat over your knees because the Odren's didn't think to bring extra dry clothes and shoes!  Now you get to drive for 2 hours in sleet and rain, barefoot in soggy boots.  Sounds like a blast!

I hope that I have successfully deterred you from ever wanting to go on vacation with the Odren's.  If that doesn't work, feel free to stop into their cramped apartment and enjoy the view of wet clothes, damp sleeping bags, random soaked gear,  and drippy backpacks strewn across the floor and over the furniture.  I guarantee that will sufficiently kill your ill advised dream.